Mysterious Possible Connection between my Astrocytoma and DMT
/MidJourney AI Art
Astrocytoma Blog Chapters 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11
Before diving into something amazing, I’ve never taken DMT but let me remind you of my Astrocytoma:
Introduction:
In November 2021, I woke up from a nap feeling nauseous and experiencing strange sensations on the right side of my body. Little did I know that this would lead to a life-changing experience of discovering I had brain tumor.
Diagnosis:
After rushing to the emergency room and undergoing an MRI, doctors at UCSF identified the tumor as an Astrocytoma. The particular diagnosis I received was: Astrocytoma, IDH-mutant, CNS WHO Grade 3 - Left Side Insula. The location of the tumor in my left insula had various implications for my symptoms, treatment options, and prognosis.
Treatment:
Doctors at UCSF advised me to undergo surgery to remove as much of the tumor as possible. I was lucky enough to have between 95% to 99.9% of the tumor removed during the surgery. However, to ensure that any remaining cancerous cells were treated, I underwent six weeks of radiation and 11 months of chemotherapy. While undergoing chemotherapy, I experienced a minor stroke, but fortunately, it did not have any long-term effects.
Prognosis:
While my neuro-oncologist was initially pessimistic about my prognosis, my radiation doctor was more positive. He believed that my tumor was "indolent," meaning it grew slowly and that I likely had it for 20 years or more. He thought that the treatment I received was effective and that any potential recurrence would be decades from now when more effective treatments were available.
Identity:
While I am grateful for the treatment I received and the positive outlook on my prognosis, I do not want to identify myself as a "cancer survivor." I believe that the tumor has been removed as much as possible, and I want to focus on moving forward rather than identifying myself with the label of cancer.
Conclusion:
My journey with Astrocytoma has been a challenging one, but I am grateful for the support of my healthcare team and loved ones. I am continuing to monitor my health and follow up with my healthcare providers as needed. For anyone else who may be going through a similar experience, my advice is to stay positive, communicate openly with your healthcare providers, and focus on taking care of yourself.
Now, the interesting parts…
(Images taken before surgery - yes, that’s me)
An EEG (Electroencephalogram) is a test that measures electrical activity in the brain. It is a non-invasive test that involves placing small electrodes on the scalp, which are connected to a machine that records the electrical activity of the brain. EEGs are commonly used to diagnose and monitor conditions such as epilepsy, brain injuries, and sleep disorders. They can also be used to identify abnormal brain activity related to neurological disorders such as astrocytoma.
My EGG Results were 96%. The doctor mentioned if I had 100%, I’d be at risk for a stroke.
See the cloud in the middle? When I was rushed to the ER after experiencing sudden symptoms, an MRI showed a large cloud in my brain representing the Astrocytoma. The tumor was located on the left side of my insula, and it was a shock to see the physical manifestation of the condition that was affecting me so deeply.
I couldn't believe what I was seeing on the screen - this ominous-looking mass was the source of my sudden and frightening symptoms. Seeing it made me realize the gravity of the situation and the challenges that lay ahead in my journey with Astrocytoma.
Interesting right? Lets hear about the Insula:
Studies have suggested that individuals with narcissistic personality traits may have a reduced amount of gray matter in the insula. This is the part of the brain that is responsible for processing emotions, empathy, and social interactions. The insula is also involved in self-awareness and consciousness. When there is a reduction in gray matter in the insula, it may lead to a lack of empathy and difficulty in understanding others' emotions. However, it's important to note that the relationship between narcissism and brain structure is complex, and further research is needed to fully understand the connection.
When I was diagnosed with Astrocytoma, I had no idea how much it would change my life. Before the surgery and radiation, I was known for occasional outbursts of rage and had been accused of being a narcissist by some people. However, after the surgery and treatment, I felt like a completely different person. The rage was gone, and I had a newfound sense of empathy. Many people around me noticed the changes in my behavior and personality.
Before my diagnosis with Astrocytoma, my therapist noticed certain patterns in my behavior that reminded him of narcissism. However, he brought it up casually and was not sure about it. After mentioning it a few times, he realized that I did not have narcissism and had a deeper issue that he could not understand.
It's not just me, though. There have been cases where people with brain tumors in the insula have exhibited narcissistic behavior, and there have been cases where people have had changes in personality after brain surgery. These changes in personality can be caused by different factors, including changes in brain chemistry and psychological trauma.
For me, the changes in my personality have been profound. I feel like a more compassionate and caring person than I was before the surgery. I no longer have those intense feelings of anger that used to plague me. Instead, I'm much more patient and understanding of others. I'm grateful for the changes that have taken place in my life, and I feel like a better person because of them.
After updating myself for MONTHS I started to wonder If I was missing grey matter in my Insula either before or after Astrocytoma. I was surprised when a doctor said no. That as far as they could see through MRI’s before and after the surgery, I didn’t seem to missing any grey matter. I remember when he said: “You have perfect grey matter, you're not a narcissist.”
During a support group meeting for individuals with Astrocytoma, a doctor shared their observation with me that my brain's insula appeared to be structurally intact and functioning normally. They explained that this is a positive indication and suggested that it may mean that I don't exhibit the traits associated with narcissism. I found this information reassuring and it helped me to better understand how my brain may have been affected by the tumor and surgery.
It was a shock to learn that the Astrocytoma had been putting pressure on the grey matter in my brain causing the moments with rage and cruelty. After learning all of this, It was as if the tumor had been affecting me in ways that I wasn't even aware of. So I started to research more about the relationship between brain tumors and personality changes, and that's when I discovered other types of things:
Notice the location of the Insula? Notice the proximity with the Pineal Gland? Remember how large my brain tumor was?
“It is possible that the Astrocytoma was putting pressure on the pineal gland in your brain and the pineal gland is known to produce DMT, a powerful psychedelic substance that can induce intense hallucinations and altered states of consciousness. If there was pressure on your pineal gland, it is possible that it could have been causing side effects from DMT, such as the strange events you had been perceiving only to wake up as if you were asleep.
Research has shown that the pineal gland plays a crucial role in regulating sleep and wake cycles, as well as producing melatonin, a hormone that helps regulate sleep. It is possible that the pressure your pineal gland was disrupting these functions, leading to the strange events you experienced. Additionally, the pineal gland is also thought to play a role in mystical experiences and spiritual awakening, and the presence of an abnormal growth such as an Astrocytoma could potentially interfere with these processes.
While there is still much to be understood about the relationship between the pineal gland, DMT, and consciousness, it is clear that the pineal gland plays a significant role in our experiences of the world around us. The possibility that the Astrocytoma was impacting this gland and contributing to your experiences is certainly worth further exploration.”
- chat.openAI
For the past 15 years, I have been having surreal experiences that left me feeling like I was going crazy. The dreams I had were so vivid and intense that I often had to be alone just to process them. At first, I thought they were just my imagination running wild, but as these events continued to happen, I couldn't help but wonder if there was something more to them. It wasn't until I found out about my Astrocytoma and the pressure it was putting on my pineal gland that I began to consider the possibility of DMT being the culprit. DMT is known for its hallucinogenic properties, and the idea of my experiences being related to it suddenly made sense.
I realized that my experiences were not unique, and that others had also reported similar visions and experiences. This realization was a turning point for me, and I began to write about my experiences in more detail. I wanted to share my stories with others who may have been going through something similar and to show them that they were not alone. My co-authored book, The Amaranth Chronicles, was loosely based on some of my experiences, and writing it was a cathartic experience that helped me process my thoughts and emotions.
In my posts on the blog page, you'll find a few posts that I wrote years ago before I knew I had Astrocytoma. While there are many experiences that I could share, I wanted to show these two in particular. Look at the dates I wrote them.
Strange experiences I posted
“Had a really profound dream last night. I’ve been reading and watching testimonials about DMT experiences which I think was the background of this dream.”
Just woke up from a bad, bad dream...
“Just woke up from a nightmare. I literally didn’t have time to even edit this, I just need to get this out.”
Notice the comments?
As I continue to reflect on my experiences, I realize that talking about these seemingly crazy elements one after another could make people question my sanity. But the more research I do and the more I learn about the brain and its functions, the more I realize that anything is possible. Who's to say that the pressure on my pineal gland didn't cause me to experience strange events and perceive them as dreams? Who's to say that my brain wasn't simply creating DMT-like experiences on its own? As I continue to navigate life with my astrocytoma, I'm constantly reminded of the power of the brain and its incredible capacity for change and adaptation.
Remember when I predicted the earthquake while being treated for my astrocytoma? And do you recall the movie 'Phenomenon' which portrayed a character with the same condition? I was so intrigued by it that I visited the location where it was filmed. I was at an event with the HQ of the company I worked for. It was 30 minutes away from where “Phenomenon” was shot. And then I left a copy of my co-authored book 'The Amaranth Chronicles: Deviant Rising.' It's strange how these events seemed so disconnected before, but now I'm beginning to see a possible link between them all.
Ever heard about Near Death Experiences (NDE)? Ever heard of Dimethyltryptamine (DMT)?
Dimethyltryptamine (DMT)
Near Death Experiences (NDE)
There are several longer and fascinating videos about DMT and NDE available on YouTube. I came across a few that I found particularly interesting. I also included a video of a man who experienced an NDE and believes that DMT provides a safe journey to the afterlife, but you return to your physical life.
These are not even the tip of the iceberg. Just a way to interpret things.
This blog post has a purpose, and that is to provide an example of what I have discovered following my experiences with Astrocytoma, which were beyond terrifying. What I am sharing is my own interpretation of these events, and there is much more to it. Despite the possibility of sounding insane, I am determined to share what I have learned.
Having gone through the experience of Astrocytoma, it has completely changed the way I view things. Looking back at the blog posts I have written over the past year, I am amazed at the experiences I have had:
After my surgery, I was beyond terrified when I wrote my first blog post, struggling to type but managing to write a long one. Post 1
I had the experience of a lot of pain and fear a few months after Astrocytoma surgery. I have also been hurt by an old girlfriend and horrified by a doctor. In retrospect, I feel ashamed writing it but it felt like I had to be vulnerable in order to deal with the terror Posts 3.
I've had numerous conversations with multiple AI systems about various aspects of my life. The AI systems allowed me to discuss my life with a non-judgmental and impartial source. These conversations provided me with a unique perspective on my experiences and helped me process my thoughts and emotions. Post 4.
I had the chance to visit Old Town Auburn, the filming location of "Phenomenon", a movie that portrays the impact by raveling the character has Astrocytoma. (1hour 30 minutes into the movie) Visiting that little town, Old Town Auburn, where the movie was made, reflected me on my journey and how far I've come. And I got the leave a copy of a Sci-Fi novel I co-authored years ago in the bar that was in Phenomenon. Post 6.
An AI helped me I write about a stroke I experienced and the tiny residual effects that remain. The experience has taught me to appreciate the fragility of the brain and to be grateful for every moment of clarity and cognitive ability. Post 7 and Post 8.
Although I have never taken DMT, I have learned more about my brain and discovered that it is present in all of us, which has given me insight into the afterlife.
I'm proud of these posts I wrote on the website for me and my co-authors book, The Amaranth Chronicles.
The impact of these experiences has completely transformed my way of thinking and interpreting the world. They have been so profound that my perception of reality has been altered in ways I couldn't have imagined. As I conclude this blog post, I want to share one last thing:
“Reality is incredibly larger, infinitely more exciting, than the flesh and blood vehicle we travel in here. If you read science fiction, the more you realize that you, and the universe, are part of the same thing. Science still knows practically nothing about the real nature of matter, energy, dimension, or time; and even less about those remarkable things called life and thought. But whatever the meaning and purpose of this universe, you are a legitimate part of it. And since you are part of the all that is, part of its purpose, there is more to you than just this brief speck of existence. You are just a visitor here in this time and this place, a traveler through it.” - Gene Roddenberry
Or more simply said in 20 seconds:
